5379 down... so many more to go.
Here is an excerpt from my NaNoWriMo. Labels: NaNoWriMo
Tuesday, July 24th, 2007
What turned out to be a really horrible birthday present in this diary may turn out to be a good idea after all. Sometimes my mother, while she's pretty much always useless otherwise, does something for my benefit. Not that she stepped up to dad for me today.
Right after I got home from the skate park -- I was continuing to try out some of the new tricks on the half pipe. Still not doing so well Eddie said on my landings. He's the one who runs the place. He's probably nearly fourty, and suffered some kind of accident he doesn't ever want to talk about. All I know is it involved boarding and that led him to wanting to open up the skate shop. He's got some really sick gear I would have much rather had instead of you diary. No offence, I mean.
Anyway, yesterday was my 16th birthday and I spent it with Synth at the mall. He's a beautiful guy. He looks kind of like a girl, but he says people don't really pick on him about it. I think he was a model when he was a teenager. He's twenty two now. Synth's definately my best friend because he saw past my white skin and hair. Pretty much all the normal people find me creepy because of the albinoism. It took me laying down my sickest trick in front of the neighboorhood
boys before they'd stop giving me such a hard time.
I can, on a good day, not everyday you know... and I have to watch out for cops... But, yeah, on a good day I can run across a parked car while my deck continues rolling underneath and land on it perfectly. I don't even think Rodney Mullen can do that and he's the best skater alive. No offence to Tony Hawk or anything. It's just, well, he's kind of old. I think he has kids my age.
Oh, shit! I don't think I told you who I was besides the albino thing. My name is Kalki Helaku. I am part Hawaiian and part regular white. My dad is full Hawaiian, my mom is just white. But since I'm an albino, I'm really white. The kids called me Ghosty which bothered me alot, but after making friends with them at Eddie's, he gave me a skateboard with a blue ghost decal from Pac-Man so now people call me The Blue Ghost. I like that better. I started wearing blue-themed t-shirt too to help support the nickname. I also am glad the weather here in Georgia is like Hawaii was in that it's almost always warm enough for my knee length cargo shorts.
Let's see... I'm five and a half feet tall. Lucky, I hit a growth spurt like a while back. I actually can notice a bit how much more I have to work on my center of gravity while doing tricks! I weigh about 125 pounds which is a bit more than I like. The last thing I need is to add one more thing to be made fun about. I have kind of pale light blue eyes. My white hair is at the top of my collar. As long as the school allows. Well, it's gotten a bit longer since school's out. I bet dad'll complain about that any day now.
I'm 16 now. Just turned 16 yesterday. That makes me a Leo if you believe in that horoscope stuff. I don't. I mean, how can someone who's an albino and also likes boys which has to be a real rarity believe in things like fate. I mean, about 1 in 17,000 people have some kind of albinoism right? But not everyone of those is like me. It's probably like a hundred times that for full blown melinin problems. And then to add being gay on top of it.
But you know, that leads me to why I was saying when I started. My dad is an asshole. I guess I'm going to have to keep a close eye on this thing if I say stuff like this, but it's the truth. My dad hates that I'm an albino even though it's his fault. He hates that I am not Hawaiian Proud. And yet he married my mom! He hates that I spend almost every moment on or around a skateboard. I'm going to get sponsered and as soon as possible get to the X-Games! He says these are childish dreams even though I just turned 16! I'm old enough to drive. That is if I cared about something with wheels that size! Ha ha!
He does a lot of yelling. At me. At mom. She shrinks away from him, of course. It's "Yes Sir" and "No Sir" to him for us both which I think is really unfair. Mom is supposed to be his equal in their marriage, I think.
I yell back alot of times which gets me smacked. Not that it hurts. Well it does, but I don't want him to know that. He doesn't need any more power. Which is why he can't find out I'm gay. Even though I've wanted to basically scream it in his face just to see his crushed expression. To find out that his only kid is not only a freaky albino but also a fag... That's making me laugh just writing it!
But, of course, that'd just cause me more problems. So I'm silent about it. A silent ghost! Ha ha.
Synth knows. I told him at the mall actually yesterday. In case you haven't guessed, I do kind of like him. Maybe it's just a crush. I'm kind of new to these kinds of feelings, actually. But while we were eating at Johnny Rockets which is this kind of retro-50's diner, I was just watching him eat for a little while. He loves to eat and never gains any weight which is really weird! I don't ever see him throw it up either like models do.
But anyway, I watched the way his mouth moved while he was chewing the chicken nuggets. And then the different way the muscles of his face worked when he had to suck hard on the shake because it wasn't blended very well. I just, for the first time, wondered what it would be like to kiss a boy.
I asked him shyly if I could later when we were at the top of the hill on my street after we'd walked home. He doesn't think my dad would like my hanging out with him since he's older, and he probably right, so Synth never comes over and never walks with me all the way back to the house. So yeah, I asked him, and he said that he had a boyfriend so it would be wrong.
I wanted to tell him that it didn't have to be a serious kiss, just a pretend one so I knew what it was like. And then I got all embarassed as he laughed. I'm sure even with skin as white as mine, I was blushing.
So I decided since I was really not interested in girls ever and had started to feel something for Synth that I was probably gay. And so with that and the skating. With my albino stuff and my dad being such an asshole. Maybe it was okay after all that my mom got me you diary. I'm going to have to come up with a nickname for you. "Diary" is too generic and my life is anything but. Until next time I write...
--Kalki
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
2:30AM
I'm going to start writing the time that I write in you so that later when I go back and read it, I'll know even more what kind of frame of mind I'm in. Who knows, maybe one day I'll become a famous skater and will be asked if I want to publish a story about my life. I think it'd make for a better movie though, not a book. Who reads books unless they're forced to anyway?
I can't sleep. Obviously!
I've been thinking about where I can hide you since I'm going to be writing everything in here. Secrets I definately don't want dad to find out. And even though mom knows I think she really needs to stand up for herself, she probably shouldn't read you either.
The easy answer would be to keep you at Eddie's in my locker I rent there. But, the skateshop is closed on Sunday and at night. What if something life altering happens?
It's also summer for another month, so my school locker is out.
Hmm. Looking around my room here. Oh! I guess I can decribe my room while I'm thinking about this. It won't be a shock to tell you I have mostly posters I've found in magazines or bought at Eddie's. I even have the official 2007 "Heaven is a Half-Pipe" calender which he put out for the first time this year. It features twelve boys and even one girl who he took pictures of doing tricks and put them into a calender. I hadn't moved to Georgia yet last year when the auditions or whatever were being held. But you can believe I'm going to try for next year's calender. I gotta ask Eddie when that is tomorrow. And I absolutely don't care if my dad says no. Being in a calender will definately look good when I want sponsorships for my X-Games debut. Maybe my unique look will even get the cover. I'm sure that even though I'm pretty much Eddie's best friend, he'll be fair to everyone who enters. But still, maybe being an albino will be a bonus in this case!
Oh yeah, I was describing my room. I got a single bed. Not much exiting there. It feels small as does the room really. We got a small house because only my dad works and he doesn't make much money at the power company. He drives what they call a cherry picker truck. I wished he'd fall out of it one day.
I have a small fish tank on my dresser that doesn't have any fish in it. The tiger sharks died a month ago and I had to flush them. I didn't tell anyone and just leave it running on. The bubble sound really helps me sleep. Except tonight apparently!
I know where I can hide you diary. In the tiles on the ceiling. I could lift up one of the tiles and stuff you up there. It'll be kind of inconvienant but it's the best I got right now. Mom should have bought a diary with a lock and key. She never thinks these things through. Oh well. Until later then diary.
-- Kalki
PS: I'm still working on a nickname for you. How do you like "Ollie?"
3 comments
ohh i do so like this!!! please post more if/when you have a chance to :)
p.s. Synth sounds hotttt!
By 
, at
Sunday, November 04, 2007 8:08:00 AM
The story reminded me of where I hid my book. I carved a spot into the back of my desk, and just leave it up against the wall. All I have to do is pull the sliding top out a bit and *poof* I grab it ^_^ I'm to paranoid for my own good.
I love the story, and I really connect with Kalki, it's tough to have to prove yourself to even connect with normal people. And the whole parent thing is a little nostalgic. [not to mention the fact his boarding is painfully similar to what I'm going through with my hacking] All and all this looks like it will be great. I'd probably buy a copy too. ^_^ ~<3
By , at
Sunday, November 04, 2007 1:07:00 PM
I like it. It definately strikes a chord close to home, which is a good thing in this case. I can't wait to read the rest of it! Kalki is a not-so-average boy living in a very ordinary world which always causes trouble. Please post more!
By , at
Sunday, November 04, 2007 3:20:00 PM
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