Suppression

I’m so sick of you.
So damn sick of what I do.
So goddamn sick when this close to you.
Why can’t I just admit we are through.

Simply put, please go away.
I’m too weak. I’ll beg; you’ll stay.
Sacrificing everything to find a way.
In the end, our hearts we will betray.

I love you. I hate you. That is my song.
Why can’t I leave you? Why is this wrong?
We said Forever. It wasn’t near that long.
Now my thoughts of you, where do they belong?

Even when it’s over, it will never end.
Needs and wants and our abilities to blend.
Our decimated hearts will, in time, mend.
And if they don’t, we’ll just have to pretend.

May 26, 1998